DEALERSHIP AT THREE-WAY MAY BE PUT ON HOLD

DEALERSHIP AT THREE-WAY MAY BE PUT ON HOLD Bizarre ground mole infestation to blame. (by G. Randy Cazzate) The plans for a proposed automobile dealership at Three-Way have been put on temporary hold after the property was raided by giant ground moles. Drivers along the 45 bypass recently noticed that the land for a new Jones Chevrolet dealership is now covered giant mole hills. "There must be a hundred of 'em", said Freida Culpepper, a cashier at the nearby Maverick Convenience Store. "We had like five customers come in a couple days ago asking what the hell was going on down there, so we went to take a look", she said, "I've never seen anything like it." This reporter visited the property and many of the mole hills are at least three feet high and ten feet or more in circumference. "To make a mound that big," added Maverick store customer Matthew Briggs, "those things (moles) must be the size of a pit bull," adding, "I ain't goin' down there at night, I can tell ya that." A phone call to Southeastern Pest Control for expert advice on the subject was met with skepticism. "Who is this?" asked SPC owner Chuck Walker, who then added, "you know what, maybe you should ask Deez." Repeated phone calls to Jones Chevrolet asking for comment have gone unanswered. All Jackson Critic articles are satire news and entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to sports personalities and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction. Please feel free to copy and paste this disclaimer into you facebook comment to “prove this site’s bullshit”.