MUTATED LARVE POSSIBLE SINKHOLE CULPRIT?

MUTATED LARVAE POSSIBLE SINKHOLE CULPRIT? Government investigating reports of Crockett farm larvae tunneling through Madison County (by G. Randy Cazzate) Recent sinkhole problems in the city of Jackson have caught the attention of the Department of Agriculture. An investigation is underway over a possible link to mutated boll weevil larvae from neighboring Crockett County. Some say it's reminiscent of the 1990 movie 'Tremors'. According to sources, the Department of Agriculture dispatched a team of entomologists to West Tennessee after a local farmer called the UT Extension office in Jackson and mentioned the possibility that mutated larvae found on his property last year could be responsible for the cave ins. In 2018, landowner Claude Estes shot and killed one of the larvae after sinkholes began appearing along the outer edges of his cotton field just southeast of Bells, Tennessee. The larva was well over 50 inches in length and weighed nearly 75 pounds. Estes promptly called authorities who measured, weighed, and packed the creature into a refrigerated case. Estes said, "They said they'd get back to me, and I haven't heard a word since." He says he told them at the time that he believed there were dozens, if not hundreds of the larvae beneath his property, mutated from years of farm chemical exposure. Estes continued, "My neighbor to the southeast said he had the same problem a few months later, and his neighbor the year after that. We believe they're tunneling between I-40 and the South Fork (of the Forked Deer River). That'd put 'em on a direct path to Jackson. I think them critters is on the move." The Department of Agriculture as well as the UT Extension office declined comment. (photo caption: A photo of Claude Estes with mutated larva killed on his property in 2018 is pinned to a bulletin board in his barn.) All Jackson Critic articles are satire news and entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to sports personalities and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction. Please feel free to copy and paste this disclaimer into you facebook comment to “prove this site’s bullshit”.